Happy Birthday Bryce, You are Thirteen!

It's hard to believe that thirteen years ago I gave birth to my first child and now he is a teenager. He was only five pounds and fifteen ounces and he looked like a little bird. The doc kept telling me that I was going to have an eight pound baby and I was glad as I had gained forty pounds so I figured at least eight of those forty was coming off as soon as my bundle of joy was born.
I read all the parenting books and thought I had it together when it came to having a baby and raising a child. Boy was I wrong- literally I thought I was having a girl; for nine months I swore that Bryce was going to be Jessica Grace. I did have the option of seeing what the sex was but I wanted to be surprised even though I was 99 percent sure it was a girl.
Three days after my bundle was born my mother- in- law showed up,even though my husband and I specifically asked her and my family to give us a week or so to get used to having a new born home. We spoke too soon as dear mother-in-law showed up as soon as she could get a ride down to us in North Carolina. The funny part was that she was so consumed with seeing the baby but she never came to visit when it was just the two of us. Her response was always,"Why would I ever want to visit you? I've seen my son his whole life." And so began my long and arduous relationship with my husbands mom.
As a new mom you don't have a clue; at least I didn't. I expected perfection right off the bat. This baby will be on a great eating and sleeping schedule, I'll have everything completely organized and I will look like the cover of Parenting Magazine when I take my son out in his new fangled stroller for the first time.I'll be the perfect breast feeder. I'll be the envy of all my friends as I'll have the mother thing so under control. And another thing, my life is not going to change!
I was completely in denial of what motherhood would be. I learned fast though because by day two I was exhausted from staying up all night. He had his days and nights mixed up. Every night at five o'clock he would scream bloody murder; apparently this was colic or fussy time according to the pediatrician. My milk had come in; surprise, forgot to put the pads in my bra and walla my shirt was stained on the front at the Harris Teeter Grocery Store as I shopped for whatever items we needed for the arrival of my mother-in-law. I had accidentally announced to the world that I was in fact a breast feeder!
By day three, I hadn't showered, my house looked like a tornado hit as all of the gadgets that we had received at my lovely shower were strewn all over. There was the swing that I "haaaad" to get according to my friend Nichole who gave me the shower. The only problem; I couldn't use it yet because he was so small, I realized the age requirements as I tried to put him in it and he almost fell through the leg holes. Rule number one: read the instructions on baby items. I would do anything to get him to stop screaming from five o'clock to seven but the swing was out. Once he was big enough for it he hated it anyway.
Thankfully, my wonderful husband didn't mind walking our beautiful baby around for two hours at a clip. That was probably why he was so tired in the middle of the night that he never seemed to hear the baby crying for that one am feeding; not that he could have helped there anyway. Another lesson learned; pump your breast milk, then there are no excuses, anyone can help with the feedings. The call to Fisher Price hotline completed that day when the three of us passed out as Bryce slept the entire night in the bouncy seat. I thought the vibration would have damaged him but the lady on the other end of the phone assured me things were just fine as long as he was strapped in. The bouncy seat became my new best friend.
But like any mom I survived the first few weeks which turned into years and it did get easier. Once I put down What to Expect the First Year I soared to new lengths of motherhood. I would catch myself when no one was looking, going to the table of contents of the book trying to look up whatever problem I had. I finally realized that having and raising a baby cannot be done by reading an instruction manual although I was sure I would find the answer. One night after my mother-in-law had insulted me for the twentieth time, after all she had seven, how come I couldn't handle one? I calmly put What to Expect in the back of my closet in my family room, high on a shelf and closed the door. I would figure it out; and I did.
Through all the years of raising my first child and then a second I learned so many different things; like everyone wants to give you advice. Once I was at Marshall's, shopping and Bryce was teething. I was letting him chew on my key chain, not the most sanitary thing, but hey he was safe and happy and I could actually look at something other than diaper cream and breast pads. A man came up to me and said how cute Bryce was and of course I beamed. "Thank you," I said smiling. That's when he went in for the kill. "I wouldn't recommend letting him chew on that, it's very unsanitary and it could hurt his gums." Dude get lost is what I thought and then all of the sudden the guilty mom voice popped into my head telling me what a terrible mom I was. No one tells you of the inner guilty mommy voice in What to Expect When you are Expecting. I was going to write the author a letter and tell her to please add that to her book of knowledge.
Bottom line, motherhood has been like a roller coaster, so many ups and downs. The best part is seeing your child grow and develop into a really neat human being, and that is exactly what Bryce has become. I am so proud of him today and always! Motherhood is a journey, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, a marriage of sorts without the shit- well not that kind of shit. The one thing about motherhood is that it is forever. You can leave a friendship but motherhood is always. Thank you Bryce for giving me the privilege of being your mom! And oh, by the way, Happy Birthday kiddo, you are the greatest thirteen year old I know. I know you'll read this someday and be mortified. Sorry, that's what we moms do:)
P.S. Stay tuned for life with Bryce as a toddler and early elementary years.