Lean In, My Take on Beyoncé and Jay Z's Drunk in Love at the Grammy's
I have been thinking about the performance and song Drunk in Love at the Grammy's last week by Beyoncé and Jay Z. My first reaction was that it was too sexy for an eight o'clock CBS show where young kids could tune in. Eight O'clock is usually family TV time at my house. True, it is the parents responsibility to monitor what their kids are watching. My kids are thirteen and sixteen and should be able to watch the Grammy's, but I was glad they were not watching the opening number last Sunday night. I would have turned it off if they were in the room.
I love Beyoncé's music and have enjoyed watching other performances. The Grammy's is a place for self expression, but again I felt that the producers could have waited until later on in the show to air this half naked, very sexually explicit, dance/performance between Beyoncé and Jay Z. Listening carefully to the lyrics I was again kind of shocked that it was allowed on CBS.
I didn't give it another thought as soon as Beyoncé's performance was over until the next day when I was reading all the controversy on line about the lyrics of Drunk in Love. There was an explosion of Facebook posts and bloggers writing on the fact that in the lyrics of Drunk in Love there is a reference to the abuse of Tina Turner via Ike Turner. There is a line in the song," Eat cake Anna Mae, Eat Cake Anna Mae." In the movie What's love got to do With It, about the life of Tina and her abuse by Ike, there is a scene in a diner where Ike wants to celebrate with her after one of her first performances. To celebrate he orders a cake, when she doesn't want any it shows him telling her to"eat the cake Anna Mae," when she refuses it escalates into a very abusive scene.
The question of the day is why would Beyoncé have a line in her song referencing the abuse of Tina Turner? How in the world could Beyoncé, a champion for feminism and feminists', possibly sing this with Jay Z and mouth those words? Most of the responses I read were from angry liberal feminists ready to throw Beyoncé under the bus for assuming that she was condoning or somehow promoting abusive behavior which is a bit ironic in my opinion. I doubt that she would broadcast such a controversial performance thinking she would offend her liberal female followers.
I re watched the CBS broadcasts version of Beyoncé and Jay Z and I also found another version of the song on You Tube, and read the lyrics to the song. It was clear to me that this song is about a power couple that went out to a club for a couple of drinks, got drunk, got horny, and decided to go home and do something about it.
Below are some of the lines from Jay Z when many people decided that the song took a turn for the worst.
Foreplay in the foyer, fucked up my Warhol
Slip the panties right to the side
Ain't got the time to take draws off, on site
OK, so the lines above speak of the fact that they are in the foyer and are starting... well you know. Next up the lines start getting a little tricky... read below.
Catch a charge I might, beat the box up like Mike
In '97 I bite, I'm Ike, Turner, turn up
Baby no I don't play, now eat the cake, Anna Mae
Said, "Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
I'm nice, for y'all to reach these heights you gonna need G3
4, 5, 6 flights, sleep tight
We sex again in the morning, your breastases is my breakfast
We going in, we be all night
OK, so the first four lines in the next stanza are definitely heating up and I get why people are seeing the Ike and Tina comparison, but I read this to be that this man is talking rough sex with his girl. Is this right, I don't know. I am not judging what they are doing, but rather trying to interpret the language. My understanding here is that this guy is going to give his girl rough sex. He is not literally trying to be abusive like Ike, although I can certainly see why it might be mistaken here. I think the reference is not appropriate, and it is in poor taste, and I get why people would be offended, but I truly think the intent here is to show that the content here is purely sexual. Could they have come up with another way to say that? Yes, but they are artists and perhaps they were making a statement to say hey listen we can reference this without people thinking we condone it. We understand it, but we aren't saying domestic violence is ok. Beyoncé is a fan of Tina and I believe they are friendly with each other. She is too smart to try to condone abusive behavior.
Perhaps I am even reading into it more than is there. Perhaps it's just a dirty sexual song and they gave no thought at all to the Ike and Tina reference. No, I think they knew exactly what they were doing and maybe even wanted some shock value. Why not, that's what artists do isn't it? Take a look at Miley Cyrus and her twerking, tongue tied sexualization of herself . Gross and off the charts, but it got all of us talking. Here we go again with Beyoncé. I do find it ironic that the artist claims to be such a feminist and gets on stage using her sexual prowess to get a reaction- isn't that taboo for that group?
She may be riding a surfboard of hatred from her supposed liberal female followers if she continues down the lyrical road of abuse. I'm sure it will eventually be asked and come out on her next major interview. I would love to be on the receiving end of that interview. For now I think I'd leave Anna Mae out of it cause that has everything to do with it.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
The Three A's of Marriage
It has been a long while since I've posted on this blog. I have been concentrating on another blog that I write about triathlon. I could probably find a way to fit this category into my triathlon blog, but I wanted to focus on the single topic of my post which is marriage.
I am no therapist, psychologist or marriage counselor. Why on Earth would I want to blog about marriage and why would anyone read what I have to say about it? No reason, except that I have experience on the subject as my husband and I are going on nineteen years of a successful marriage. Has it always been perfect and blissfully happy? Probably not, that is why it is a marriage. This past weekend I attended my niece's wedding and was so overwhelmed and uplifted from the priest's homily that I felt compelled to share what he said. Perhaps it will inspire any married person reading to remember what is key to a happy marriage.
We live in a culture of now. Everything is immediate, we don't stop to smell the roses anymore. If we are not happy in the moment than many people walk away from marriages. It is rare to see couples that stay together for many years anymore. I am in my forties and my husband and I have seen many divorces transpire recently. I call it the mid-life crisis syndrome and it goes something like this... You wake up one morning realize that life has become boring. At age forty you probably have a spouse, a career, children, a mortgage. The pressures are real and things are not quite as exciting between you and your spouse as they used to be. Maybe you are bored with your job, but at this point what are you going to do change careers? So you may leave your current marriage or have an affair. You may see another person as the answer to your boredom rather than working on what you currently have. The grass always seems greener on the other side.
My family and I attended my niece's wedding this past weekend and the homily or sermon presented by their parish priest touched me deeply. His message was simple that there are only three things to remember to have a happy marriage and a happy life as a married person. He called it the three A's of marriage.
The first "A" is acceptance. Accept your spouse for who they are. It sounds very simple and should be, but over time in a married persons life it is easy to find your spouse's faults. Remember who that person is that you married and how you accepted that person willingly when you first met and don't dwell on their faults. Accept who they are and move on. There is a reason you fell in love with them in the first place, and overlooking faults was easy in the beginning so it is important to remember years into the marriage.
The next "A" is for affirmation. Each person needs affirmation each day and to know that they are appreciated in some way, that they matter. It is easy to criticize someone. Father mentioned in his homily that it takes 25 positive statements to affirm someone after one criticism. I started thinking about that not only in reference to my marriage, but also in reference to my children and my job as a teacher. Positive affirmation is the key to success on many topics, but marriage especially. So remind your spouse and your loved ones daily that they are acknowledged for the hard work that they do and whatever they do for the family is greatly appreciated and not taken for granted.
Finally the last "A" was affection. Make sure that you are telling your spouse on a daily basis how much you love them. I think appreciation is also an important component of affection as well. So many times we forget to tell our spouses and those around us how important they are to us and how much we truly love them, faults and all. Again, I feel that these principles can also be applied to other relationships that we have with family members and friends. Father mentioned telling our spouse that we love them one hundred times a day which may seem excessive, but why not try it? Those three simple words can make a world of difference even when you've had a disagreement. The other words so important in a marriage are "I'm sorry." Even if you think you are right on a subject matter it is easier to let it go, give a hug and say you are sorry.
These three A's seem like common sense, but how often I myself have fallen into the trap of not doing these steps. It is easy to see what is wrong rather than what is right. Ignore the bad things, remember the good things and what attracted you to your spouse in the first place. I loved these words of wisdom from my niece's priest and left the wedding feeling hopeful for another nineteen of years of marriage myself.
Peace be with you and yours and remember the next time your hubby throws his dirty underwear on the floor he's not doing it to annoy you. He probably doesn't even realize it annoys you. Simply pick it up and throw it in the dirty clothes. Then maybe the next time he does it remind him how much you love him when he throws them in the laundry himself. Hopefully he'll follow with a," Yes dear."
I am no therapist, psychologist or marriage counselor. Why on Earth would I want to blog about marriage and why would anyone read what I have to say about it? No reason, except that I have experience on the subject as my husband and I are going on nineteen years of a successful marriage. Has it always been perfect and blissfully happy? Probably not, that is why it is a marriage. This past weekend I attended my niece's wedding and was so overwhelmed and uplifted from the priest's homily that I felt compelled to share what he said. Perhaps it will inspire any married person reading to remember what is key to a happy marriage.
We live in a culture of now. Everything is immediate, we don't stop to smell the roses anymore. If we are not happy in the moment than many people walk away from marriages. It is rare to see couples that stay together for many years anymore. I am in my forties and my husband and I have seen many divorces transpire recently. I call it the mid-life crisis syndrome and it goes something like this... You wake up one morning realize that life has become boring. At age forty you probably have a spouse, a career, children, a mortgage. The pressures are real and things are not quite as exciting between you and your spouse as they used to be. Maybe you are bored with your job, but at this point what are you going to do change careers? So you may leave your current marriage or have an affair. You may see another person as the answer to your boredom rather than working on what you currently have. The grass always seems greener on the other side.
My family and I attended my niece's wedding this past weekend and the homily or sermon presented by their parish priest touched me deeply. His message was simple that there are only three things to remember to have a happy marriage and a happy life as a married person. He called it the three A's of marriage.
The first "A" is acceptance. Accept your spouse for who they are. It sounds very simple and should be, but over time in a married persons life it is easy to find your spouse's faults. Remember who that person is that you married and how you accepted that person willingly when you first met and don't dwell on their faults. Accept who they are and move on. There is a reason you fell in love with them in the first place, and overlooking faults was easy in the beginning so it is important to remember years into the marriage.
The next "A" is for affirmation. Each person needs affirmation each day and to know that they are appreciated in some way, that they matter. It is easy to criticize someone. Father mentioned in his homily that it takes 25 positive statements to affirm someone after one criticism. I started thinking about that not only in reference to my marriage, but also in reference to my children and my job as a teacher. Positive affirmation is the key to success on many topics, but marriage especially. So remind your spouse and your loved ones daily that they are acknowledged for the hard work that they do and whatever they do for the family is greatly appreciated and not taken for granted.
Finally the last "A" was affection. Make sure that you are telling your spouse on a daily basis how much you love them. I think appreciation is also an important component of affection as well. So many times we forget to tell our spouses and those around us how important they are to us and how much we truly love them, faults and all. Again, I feel that these principles can also be applied to other relationships that we have with family members and friends. Father mentioned telling our spouse that we love them one hundred times a day which may seem excessive, but why not try it? Those three simple words can make a world of difference even when you've had a disagreement. The other words so important in a marriage are "I'm sorry." Even if you think you are right on a subject matter it is easier to let it go, give a hug and say you are sorry.
These three A's seem like common sense, but how often I myself have fallen into the trap of not doing these steps. It is easy to see what is wrong rather than what is right. Ignore the bad things, remember the good things and what attracted you to your spouse in the first place. I loved these words of wisdom from my niece's priest and left the wedding feeling hopeful for another nineteen of years of marriage myself.
Peace be with you and yours and remember the next time your hubby throws his dirty underwear on the floor he's not doing it to annoy you. He probably doesn't even realize it annoys you. Simply pick it up and throw it in the dirty clothes. Then maybe the next time he does it remind him how much you love him when he throws them in the laundry himself. Hopefully he'll follow with a," Yes dear."
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Writing Made Easy
I have a son in middle school and part of his English curriculum is writing. They write about novels they are reading and they also are required to keep a blog about anything they want. The main objective of the blog is to practice their writing craft. He usually uses the Microsoft Word program to write his papers on. One of the things we noticed is that MS Word doesn't always correct all the grammar problems.
I write two different blogs each week and while I have an editing program within my blog, it doesn't always catch my spelling, let alone, my grammar issues. Many times I'll use Microsoft Word as well, only to find embarrassing errors. Writing reflects the author's credibility, and you can lose jobs, and receive negative perceptions if your work is off.
Recently, I found another software program called WhiteSmoke 2011 . WhiteSmoke is a language solution for full text translation and English writing. I know sometimes I have to look up synonyms, but have no fear this program will do it for you. WhiteSmoke will also correct spelling mistakes and grammar issues with a single click. When compared to Word this program found 3 spelling errors compared to MS Word only finding two errors. In the same document WhiteSmoke found 7 grammatical errors versus Words 2 errors.
You can also translate over 50 languages with this program and it contains a Multi-Lingual Dictionary along with an English Thesaurus. WhiteSmoke 2011 is the first all in one English solution. Why not download it for free and give it a try? There is nothing to lose, but great writing to gain!
I write two different blogs each week and while I have an editing program within my blog, it doesn't always catch my spelling, let alone, my grammar issues. Many times I'll use Microsoft Word as well, only to find embarrassing errors. Writing reflects the author's credibility, and you can lose jobs, and receive negative perceptions if your work is off.
Recently, I found another software program called WhiteSmoke 2011 . WhiteSmoke is a language solution for full text translation and English writing. I know sometimes I have to look up synonyms, but have no fear this program will do it for you. WhiteSmoke will also correct spelling mistakes and grammar issues with a single click. When compared to Word this program found 3 spelling errors compared to MS Word only finding two errors. In the same document WhiteSmoke found 7 grammatical errors versus Words 2 errors.
You can also translate over 50 languages with this program and it contains a Multi-Lingual Dictionary along with an English Thesaurus. WhiteSmoke 2011 is the first all in one English solution. Why not download it for free and give it a try? There is nothing to lose, but great writing to gain!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Winter Travel Helps Beat The Blues
Lately,everywhere I turn someone is commenting on the weather.Headlines today read: Heavy Snow Pummels Plains and Midwest, Oklahoma Sees Record Cold:-31, Digging Out Becomes Neighborly in Tulsa, Extreme Weather Pushes Food Prices Higher. This winter in particular has been bad; with record cold temperatures and record amounts of snow, everyone is feeling the winter blues a little. Even in sunny North Carolina, where I used to live, friends of mine are running to warmer destinations like Florida to get away.
My Dad, a native Ohioan, lives in New Smyrna Beach, Florida during the winter.He has even been complaining of the cooler temperatures lately. I heard on the news a few weeks ago that every place in the United States, including Hawaii, had snow. Granted the snow in Hawaii was in the mountains, still; Hawaii?
My Facebook page has been covered with posts expressing everyone's discontent with the weather and how people are feeling, "blue," or "ready for some sunshine," or "ready for a drink with a colorful umbrella stuck in it, laying seaside in the hot sun." Whatever your distraction from the ice,snow, and grey skies might be, travel during the winter months should be something to consider.
Winter is a good time to travel because of the obvious but did you know there are some deals out there as well? According to the Today Show, Travel Expert Mark Murphy, there are some, "Hot Weather Deals," right about now. Check out San Juan Puerto Rico,Intercontinental Hotel, airfare-4nights for $525; Miracle Springs Resort and Spa, Desert Hot Springs, CA for $119 per night; Orlando Florida, park tickets and 3 nights @ Universal Resort for $389, or how about a 4 night Baja Cruise on Carnival for $249. He also mentioned Honolulu Hawaii, Outrigger Luana at $119 per night.
Speaking of Hawaii, I did a little "surfing," the net that is, myself and found a great destination; Kauai. Kauai is the fourth largest island on Hawaii and is sometimes called the,"Garden Isle."It is the northernmost island in the chain and is draped with mountains and cliffs, waterfalls, rain forests and beaches. What attracted me is the landscape but also all the outdoor fun that comes with it. Kauai offers something for everyone with things like golf, kayaking,snorkeling, hiking, ziplining, or just laying on the beach with one of those cocktails with the umbrellas.Kauai has 50 miles of white sand surrounding the island and many of the beach areas are private and away from large crowds. There is even a version of the Grand Canyon on the island called Waimea Canyon. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The best time for whale watching is during the winter months and a local even gives tours to do just that and chances are you'll see some dolphins too. Click here for more information on whale watching.
Are you into surfing or want to learn? The Kauai North Shore Surfing School offers surf lessons for the beginner and for the more advanced surfer who wants to improve their skills. The school also has Stand- up Paddle board lessons and snorkeling tours. My kids love surfing, so while they are in a lesson I could learn to stand up paddle; how cool is that?!
Talk about deals. I found a hotel called Kauai Palms Hotel that offers deluxe rooms for $75 per night. The rooms are clean, plantation style, centrally located and near the airport and beach. For a few extra dollars they offer rooms with kitchens; can you say families? Hello. It's definitely worth checking out.
A dream of mine has always been to own a second home. A beach property or a lake property would be so great. After seeing all the great things that Kauai has to offer it got me thinking that a more permanent dwelling would even be better so I started searching for some real estate in Kauai just to see what was out there. Like many places in the country with the recent housing crash, I was surprised at some of the deals there as well, especially foreclosures.
My husband should have some airline points from his work travel, combine that with the winter deals out there and wha- la we have a winter vacation to an exotic place like Hawaii; even if he doesn't know it yet...
Happy Travels,
My Dad, a native Ohioan, lives in New Smyrna Beach, Florida during the winter.He has even been complaining of the cooler temperatures lately. I heard on the news a few weeks ago that every place in the United States, including Hawaii, had snow. Granted the snow in Hawaii was in the mountains, still; Hawaii?
My Facebook page has been covered with posts expressing everyone's discontent with the weather and how people are feeling, "blue," or "ready for some sunshine," or "ready for a drink with a colorful umbrella stuck in it, laying seaside in the hot sun." Whatever your distraction from the ice,snow, and grey skies might be, travel during the winter months should be something to consider.
Winter is a good time to travel because of the obvious but did you know there are some deals out there as well? According to the Today Show, Travel Expert Mark Murphy, there are some, "Hot Weather Deals," right about now. Check out San Juan Puerto Rico,Intercontinental Hotel, airfare-4nights for $525; Miracle Springs Resort and Spa, Desert Hot Springs, CA for $119 per night; Orlando Florida, park tickets and 3 nights @ Universal Resort for $389, or how about a 4 night Baja Cruise on Carnival for $249. He also mentioned Honolulu Hawaii, Outrigger Luana at $119 per night.
Speaking of Hawaii, I did a little "surfing," the net that is, myself and found a great destination; Kauai. Kauai is the fourth largest island on Hawaii and is sometimes called the,"Garden Isle."It is the northernmost island in the chain and is draped with mountains and cliffs, waterfalls, rain forests and beaches. What attracted me is the landscape but also all the outdoor fun that comes with it. Kauai offers something for everyone with things like golf, kayaking,snorkeling, hiking, ziplining, or just laying on the beach with one of those cocktails with the umbrellas.Kauai has 50 miles of white sand surrounding the island and many of the beach areas are private and away from large crowds. There is even a version of the Grand Canyon on the island called Waimea Canyon. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The best time for whale watching is during the winter months and a local even gives tours to do just that and chances are you'll see some dolphins too. Click here for more information on whale watching.
Are you into surfing or want to learn? The Kauai North Shore Surfing School offers surf lessons for the beginner and for the more advanced surfer who wants to improve their skills. The school also has Stand- up Paddle board lessons and snorkeling tours. My kids love surfing, so while they are in a lesson I could learn to stand up paddle; how cool is that?!
Talk about deals. I found a hotel called Kauai Palms Hotel that offers deluxe rooms for $75 per night. The rooms are clean, plantation style, centrally located and near the airport and beach. For a few extra dollars they offer rooms with kitchens; can you say families? Hello. It's definitely worth checking out.
A dream of mine has always been to own a second home. A beach property or a lake property would be so great. After seeing all the great things that Kauai has to offer it got me thinking that a more permanent dwelling would even be better so I started searching for some real estate in Kauai just to see what was out there. Like many places in the country with the recent housing crash, I was surprised at some of the deals there as well, especially foreclosures.
My husband should have some airline points from his work travel, combine that with the winter deals out there and wha- la we have a winter vacation to an exotic place like Hawaii; even if he doesn't know it yet...
 |
| Na Pali Coast Kauai |
Kelly
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Book Club Blues( A Review of Sorts)
Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it. We've often heard this saying before and while it is a bit cliche it rings true for me on many levels. This blog is a funny story about how I longed to be in a book club and was finally accepted in.
Recently, I wrote on my Face book page that I was wanting to start a book club and got many rejections. The excuses were many, but in my mind not valid, and went something like this; I'm raising my kids and I just don't have the time, or I only like reading things that I choose, or I'll do it if we can start in January-a dear friend said this, only out of sheer guilt that I put on her.
I did have an enthusiastic group of out of town friends who were ready to start an online book club but my response to them was, "What's the point?" My visions of book club were twelve girlfriends, getting together, eating gourmet food, drinking good wine, and having detailed intellectual conversations about literature. A night out, without husbands and kids, entered into my mind as well, in a loving way.
So what happened? I was asked in by another friend with an already existing book club. I was thrilled to say the least but a bit hesitant because I'd been told that the group had been together for five years, they didn't do,"Oprah," books and the group was rather political with who they let in. While I felt privileged I was somewhat apprehensive. What if I can't finish a book, what if I don't like the girls, what if I have to host at my house, what if... the list went on.
I am happy to report the group was extremely welcoming and the first meeting was an end of the year party where they spoke of no books, at least not in the group manner I was expecting. The end of the year party consisted of games, food, wine, and great conversation; some about books but mostly about life. The only real talk of any books was the announcement of the first book of the new year called, Until I find You, by John Irving. The host, who picked the book was forthcoming when she said," I'll warn you this is not an easy to read book. The story-line is challenging." This comment came after I was already enthralled by all my new friends. My head swimming with wine and good girl talk, how hard could this book be? The comment about the new book was quickly forgotten.
All of my fears and reservations were taken away as I met the new girls and they welcomed me in. When my friend who invited me said, "Are you ready to go yet? It's midnight." I almost fell over as the time had passed so quickly.
Like Cinderella leaving the ball, I quickly scurried to get my coat. As we flew out the door the host reminded us that we would be meeting next month and she called,"happy reading," after us. I later( around 1am) fell into bed completely satisfied and happy with my new book club.
The next morning I couldn't wait to get on my laptop and read some reviews of my first book for the club. Alas my first mistake. As I read several reviews describing the very long(828 pages) text and the drawn out storyline, I wondered what I was getting into. To quote one of the reviews,' The story reads as though Irving woke from a recurring nightmare and started dictating compulsively.' I have less than four weeks to read this thing( as I now called it) add work, family, training for triathlon, writing, how in the world would I finish it? The very excuses that others had given me were quickly becoming my own.
Hence; be careful what you wish for. My husband laughed immediately as he has listened to me drone on and on about the possibilities of book club. He also remembers my past book club that dispersed after many months of reading,"bad," books only to show up for discussion to find that half of the club did not finish the book. That was eleven years ago. Another common saying comes to mind, time heals all wounds. Humm.
That is not the end of the story, but the beginning. The good news is that being the type,"A," person that I am, I formulated a plan. If I read around 36 pages per day I'll make my deadline. Being a triathlete I understand the importance of planning. So like a training plan, I formulated a book club plan. I'll let you know how it turns out( God knows I'll have a lot of pages to turn) and you'll get my own review of Until I Find You next month. If nothing else you'll get the conclusion of how it all panned out.
Happy Reading!
PS. Don't think I'm ungrateful for the opportunity(because I am grateful), just think of me as someone with a good sense of humor:) Kelly
Recently, I wrote on my Face book page that I was wanting to start a book club and got many rejections. The excuses were many, but in my mind not valid, and went something like this; I'm raising my kids and I just don't have the time, or I only like reading things that I choose, or I'll do it if we can start in January-a dear friend said this, only out of sheer guilt that I put on her.
I did have an enthusiastic group of out of town friends who were ready to start an online book club but my response to them was, "What's the point?" My visions of book club were twelve girlfriends, getting together, eating gourmet food, drinking good wine, and having detailed intellectual conversations about literature. A night out, without husbands and kids, entered into my mind as well, in a loving way.
So what happened? I was asked in by another friend with an already existing book club. I was thrilled to say the least but a bit hesitant because I'd been told that the group had been together for five years, they didn't do,"Oprah," books and the group was rather political with who they let in. While I felt privileged I was somewhat apprehensive. What if I can't finish a book, what if I don't like the girls, what if I have to host at my house, what if... the list went on.
I am happy to report the group was extremely welcoming and the first meeting was an end of the year party where they spoke of no books, at least not in the group manner I was expecting. The end of the year party consisted of games, food, wine, and great conversation; some about books but mostly about life. The only real talk of any books was the announcement of the first book of the new year called, Until I find You, by John Irving. The host, who picked the book was forthcoming when she said," I'll warn you this is not an easy to read book. The story-line is challenging." This comment came after I was already enthralled by all my new friends. My head swimming with wine and good girl talk, how hard could this book be? The comment about the new book was quickly forgotten.
All of my fears and reservations were taken away as I met the new girls and they welcomed me in. When my friend who invited me said, "Are you ready to go yet? It's midnight." I almost fell over as the time had passed so quickly.
Like Cinderella leaving the ball, I quickly scurried to get my coat. As we flew out the door the host reminded us that we would be meeting next month and she called,"happy reading," after us. I later( around 1am) fell into bed completely satisfied and happy with my new book club.
The next morning I couldn't wait to get on my laptop and read some reviews of my first book for the club. Alas my first mistake. As I read several reviews describing the very long(828 pages) text and the drawn out storyline, I wondered what I was getting into. To quote one of the reviews,' The story reads as though Irving woke from a recurring nightmare and started dictating compulsively.' I have less than four weeks to read this thing( as I now called it) add work, family, training for triathlon, writing, how in the world would I finish it? The very excuses that others had given me were quickly becoming my own.
Hence; be careful what you wish for. My husband laughed immediately as he has listened to me drone on and on about the possibilities of book club. He also remembers my past book club that dispersed after many months of reading,"bad," books only to show up for discussion to find that half of the club did not finish the book. That was eleven years ago. Another common saying comes to mind, time heals all wounds. Humm.
That is not the end of the story, but the beginning. The good news is that being the type,"A," person that I am, I formulated a plan. If I read around 36 pages per day I'll make my deadline. Being a triathlete I understand the importance of planning. So like a training plan, I formulated a book club plan. I'll let you know how it turns out( God knows I'll have a lot of pages to turn) and you'll get my own review of Until I Find You next month. If nothing else you'll get the conclusion of how it all panned out.
Happy Reading!
PS. Don't think I'm ungrateful for the opportunity(because I am grateful), just think of me as someone with a good sense of humor:) Kelly
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Back to School Doesn't have to be a Grind
Ah the dog days of summer. If you are anything like my family, summer is a time of no schedules, sleeping in, and flying by the seat of your pants.I am lucky enough to be home with my two boys over the summer, but it can be a huge adjustment when it is time for school to start. The lazy days of summer have done just that; made us lazy.
I treasure the fact that in the summer we don't have schedules, sports practices, and for myself work. I work part-time as a teacher, so going back to school means the same for me as it does my two resistant boys. What can you do to make this better?
There are some helpful things, that I have done, that have made the transition from summer fun to back to school tolerable. First of all, get your kids closets and dressers organized. I usually do this mid summer so it is not a huge task right before school starts. An organized closet and dresser make it easier to decide what to wear to school; which brings me to my next tip:lay out what your kid wants to wear to school the night before. This alleviates fighting and having to make fashion decisions when there is little time in the morning.
Have a space or place for all of your kids school needs. I have hooks in my garage for sweatshirts or coats, a place for shoes, and a hook for book bags. All are located in the garage where we walk out the door in the morning to grab our bus.
About two weeks before school starts I try to get back to regular bed times. During this time I explain to my kids the importance of a good night sleep for school, and how for close to three months they got to stay up later than normal. Usually, with a little grummbling, they comply.
Hate the paper trail that school brings into your house? I have designated stack trays with my kids names on them for important papers that they bring home each day. Each day after school, I stand at the trash can and toss what I don't need and put the stay at home papers in the designated trays. I also write important dates on the calender which I have right next to the stack trays so I don't forget anything. I have all this cleaned out and ready the week before school starts.
One more thing that keeps us organized is to prepare lunches the night before and have a designated spot for those as well. I store the lunches in our frig in our garage since that is where the kids shoes and book bags are located. Then all we have to do is grab and go on the way out.
Finally, once school has started, a morning routine is key. I require my boys to rise, brush teeth, get dressed, and make their beds, all before they come downstairs to eat breakfast. This means no television, no video games et cetra, before all of those other things are accomplished. Then, and only then, if we have time, I allow for five minutes of t.v. or video games before we hit the door.The bottom line is allotting enough time for everything in the am.
Organization is key in getting your family ready for back to school. Take your time and use the last weeks to get ready rather than rush days before. My family and I do so much better when we have a plan and are organized. Fall is upon us so why not use the rest of the dog days to breeze into the next season.
Take Care,
Kelly
I treasure the fact that in the summer we don't have schedules, sports practices, and for myself work. I work part-time as a teacher, so going back to school means the same for me as it does my two resistant boys. What can you do to make this better?
There are some helpful things, that I have done, that have made the transition from summer fun to back to school tolerable. First of all, get your kids closets and dressers organized. I usually do this mid summer so it is not a huge task right before school starts. An organized closet and dresser make it easier to decide what to wear to school; which brings me to my next tip:lay out what your kid wants to wear to school the night before. This alleviates fighting and having to make fashion decisions when there is little time in the morning.
Have a space or place for all of your kids school needs. I have hooks in my garage for sweatshirts or coats, a place for shoes, and a hook for book bags. All are located in the garage where we walk out the door in the morning to grab our bus.
About two weeks before school starts I try to get back to regular bed times. During this time I explain to my kids the importance of a good night sleep for school, and how for close to three months they got to stay up later than normal. Usually, with a little grummbling, they comply.
Hate the paper trail that school brings into your house? I have designated stack trays with my kids names on them for important papers that they bring home each day. Each day after school, I stand at the trash can and toss what I don't need and put the stay at home papers in the designated trays. I also write important dates on the calender which I have right next to the stack trays so I don't forget anything. I have all this cleaned out and ready the week before school starts.
One more thing that keeps us organized is to prepare lunches the night before and have a designated spot for those as well. I store the lunches in our frig in our garage since that is where the kids shoes and book bags are located. Then all we have to do is grab and go on the way out.
Finally, once school has started, a morning routine is key. I require my boys to rise, brush teeth, get dressed, and make their beds, all before they come downstairs to eat breakfast. This means no television, no video games et cetra, before all of those other things are accomplished. Then, and only then, if we have time, I allow for five minutes of t.v. or video games before we hit the door.The bottom line is allotting enough time for everything in the am.
Organization is key in getting your family ready for back to school. Take your time and use the last weeks to get ready rather than rush days before. My family and I do so much better when we have a plan and are organized. Fall is upon us so why not use the rest of the dog days to breeze into the next season.
Take Care,
Kelly
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Mommy Time
Being a mom nowadays is like a juggling act. I find that it is much busier than when my mom raised my two brother's and myself.I was actually looking forward to the "break" of summer because I knew that organized sports for my two son's and school was coming to end, at least for three months. We can all take a break and enjoy summer. So why now that it is here am I wondering what was I thinking?
My taxi driver hat is temporarily hung but now my entertaining hat is on full tilt. Each day starts with the question," what are we going to do today Mom?" I am lucky to be home with my kids this summer but it can be a challenge keeping everyone occupied, happy and out of trouble. Plus how do I enjoy some of that "me"time to keep myself sane?
When my kids were little I joined the YMCA. They have wonderful daycare and I was able to send my kids there worry free while I got a work out in. I was able to lose the post baby weight, enjoy some "me" time and do something healthy at the same time. Now that my kids are older(Nine and thirteen) we still go to the Y, now they can do their own workout at the weight room designed for kids; there is always a trainer or adult in there so I still can do my thing and the kids can have some fun too.
Another way to enjoy some time for yourself and keep your kids happy is swap with another mom. Find someone who has kids that have the same interests and age group as your own and trade kids. I did this for years when my children were small but it can work great with older kids as well. The kids need to get along and you need to trust the other mom but it can be a great thing. You can go and run errands or go get a haircut in peace while the kids are playing with other kids; then you need to return the favor to the other mom. I set up a swap once a week.
I also am a firm believer in getting my kids involved in whatever daily activities need to be done. Why should I do all of the chores? I have my kids help out with household chores each day. I call it clean up time. They each have a series of things that they must complete before they can go out and play or do whatever it is they want. I give them age appropriate things to do for example, picking up their rooms, taking out trash, cleaning up their bathroom. My nine year old helps out too by running "errands" for me. I might have him go get me some supplies for cleaning or have him water the outside plants.I don't expect perfection on this. The point is everyone pitches in and we get chores done faster and that leaves more time for "me" time.
Reading is a big thing for me. I love to read and realize the importance for my two boys to also partake. So another way I sqeeze in "Mommy" time is by incorporating the 15 minute reading rule. We all take a break and read something in quiet for at least 15 minutes. Who doesn't like summer reading? This encourages a little quiet time for everyone.If your kids are small and can't read on their own encourage them to simply look at the pictures of a favorite book or magazine on their own anyway. If you have older children they can read to the younger ones.
Friends are most important to me so another way to stay connected is to hang with other moms. I always feel better after a lunch out or a night out with the girls. Women need other women, it is that simple. You can compare notes and find out what other moms are doing with their lives and kids by staying connected. Get a babysitter or have your significant other watch the kids for a night or aftrernoon so you can grab a movie or dinner with a friend.
Enjoy your summer and stay sane! Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for having some time to yourself. You'll be a better person and a better mom for it!
Kelly
My taxi driver hat is temporarily hung but now my entertaining hat is on full tilt. Each day starts with the question," what are we going to do today Mom?" I am lucky to be home with my kids this summer but it can be a challenge keeping everyone occupied, happy and out of trouble. Plus how do I enjoy some of that "me"time to keep myself sane?
When my kids were little I joined the YMCA. They have wonderful daycare and I was able to send my kids there worry free while I got a work out in. I was able to lose the post baby weight, enjoy some "me" time and do something healthy at the same time. Now that my kids are older(Nine and thirteen) we still go to the Y, now they can do their own workout at the weight room designed for kids; there is always a trainer or adult in there so I still can do my thing and the kids can have some fun too.
Another way to enjoy some time for yourself and keep your kids happy is swap with another mom. Find someone who has kids that have the same interests and age group as your own and trade kids. I did this for years when my children were small but it can work great with older kids as well. The kids need to get along and you need to trust the other mom but it can be a great thing. You can go and run errands or go get a haircut in peace while the kids are playing with other kids; then you need to return the favor to the other mom. I set up a swap once a week.
I also am a firm believer in getting my kids involved in whatever daily activities need to be done. Why should I do all of the chores? I have my kids help out with household chores each day. I call it clean up time. They each have a series of things that they must complete before they can go out and play or do whatever it is they want. I give them age appropriate things to do for example, picking up their rooms, taking out trash, cleaning up their bathroom. My nine year old helps out too by running "errands" for me. I might have him go get me some supplies for cleaning or have him water the outside plants.I don't expect perfection on this. The point is everyone pitches in and we get chores done faster and that leaves more time for "me" time.
Reading is a big thing for me. I love to read and realize the importance for my two boys to also partake. So another way I sqeeze in "Mommy" time is by incorporating the 15 minute reading rule. We all take a break and read something in quiet for at least 15 minutes. Who doesn't like summer reading? This encourages a little quiet time for everyone.If your kids are small and can't read on their own encourage them to simply look at the pictures of a favorite book or magazine on their own anyway. If you have older children they can read to the younger ones.
Friends are most important to me so another way to stay connected is to hang with other moms. I always feel better after a lunch out or a night out with the girls. Women need other women, it is that simple. You can compare notes and find out what other moms are doing with their lives and kids by staying connected. Get a babysitter or have your significant other watch the kids for a night or aftrernoon so you can grab a movie or dinner with a friend.
Enjoy your summer and stay sane! Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for having some time to yourself. You'll be a better person and a better mom for it!
Kelly
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