Fear

Hello again,

Well here I am it is day two. Last night I had a cup of coffee around 5pm; bad idea as at my age. I tossed and turned all night while I should have been getting my eight hours. The good news is that I had an "aha" moment as my mother likes to call them. She has reminded me that since I turned forty I would have these epiphanies quite often- and I hate to admit but she is right. Somehow with the wrinkles and weight gain comes some "aha" moments in life where things seem to make sense. I digress. Anyway during my sleepless night I realized that today I wanted to write about fear and the power it can have over us.
Fear is defined as unpleasant emotion caused by expectation or awareness of danger; the verb to be afraid. Humm sounds a lot like me with this writing thing. For the last few years I have talked the talk but not really walked the walk and why? Plain and simple; fear. The what ifs are a killer. For example, what if no one reads any of this? What if no one likes my stories? What if I am rejected(which actually I already have been)? What if I suck at writing and I fail? I have stopped and started many projects as a result of fear.
I wanted to address fear so that I can move forward with my writing and not be stifled by my own doubt. Ignorance is bliss and that is so true. When I did my first triathlon was I scared? Yes, so you could say I was fearful because of the unknown; I did not know what to expect but I simply plowed through blocking out of my mind the little person that says," you can't do that." I embraced the other voice in my head that said,"you can do this." I prepared by training and reading so that I wasn't a blithering idiot at the start line but at the same time I was ignorant to the fact that I might actually be successful at it.
Alanis Morissette says it so wonderfully in her Eight Easy Steps song; a line that says," how to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success." She'll teach you all this in eight easy steps a chance of a lifetime you'll never forget. The point is that we can sabotage our own goals and fantasies by being afraid of succeeding as well. The old saying be careful what you wish for just might happen and with that comes responsibility and who wants that?!
We all need to listen the voice in our head that says, "yes you can!" I'll keep telling myself this as I plow forward, not knowing what lies ahead, but then who really knows anyway? I'll see you tomorrow.

Kelly
p.s. I did write a few pages in my story Karaoke Fridays yesterday and when I sign off here today I'll be doing the same, I am closer to being done:)
p.p.s. Is anyone reading this?